Baat


Baat yeh nahi ke hum kitne roothe hai
Baat yeh hai ke aapne kitna manaya hai?
 
Baat yeh nahi ke humne kitna yaad kiya
Baat yeh hai ke aapne kitna bhula diya?
 
Baat yeh nahi ke hum kitna roye hai
Baat yeh hai ke aap kitna muskuraye ho?
 
Baat yeh nahi ke hum kitne toote hai
Baat yeh hai ke aapne kitna sambhala hai?
 
Baat yeh nahi ke hum kitne bikhre hai
Baat yeh hai ke aapne kitna savara hai?
 
Aaj baat hamari nahi…. Aaj baat toh aapki hai ….!!

In rememberance of Goldy

11th March 2008
 
I came back from work at about 1130 pm. As soon as i turned on the lights & looked around the room, my stare just got fixed on my fish-bowl. I just couldnt believe what i was seeing, Goldy was upside-down & floating motionless!! That sight of Goldy was so aweful, I felt sudden pain & guilt.
It was so painful to see Goldy dead… it meant she’ll never swim around in my fish-bowl.. it meant i wont see her ever again.. it meant she was gone forever.. it meant Tango had lost his partner – forever –  A loss just irreplacable !! Just couldnt help thinking, if am so hurt and disturbed, what Tango must be going thru’?? So what if Tango is a fish, the feeling of loss of partner’s life would still be the same for Tango as well right?
 
Guilt feeling came over because that morning I was running late for my classes & dint even glanced at Goldy, had i known that’s the last sight of Goldy – live n moving about, i would have spent a little more time with her… Its so sad that we only realize certain things after there’s absolutely no scope of undoing it!! Goldy was my first pet fish, maybe it just happened all of a sudden & just caught me unexpectedly so i felt the pain more, it was rather an unbearable pain.. I just couldnt see Goldy like that! Rups n me burried Goldy, placed a flower upon, not a single minute went that night without thinking about how did it happen? when did it happen? how lonely Tango must be now n so many other questiones which will always remain unanswered!
 
Goldy was just a pet, just another living creature in house, isnt that true..? So why does it hurt so much? Why did i cry? I think its because loss of life – is loss of life.. the pain is universal, the sadness is universal.. no matter who’s dead — its a death after all!! This feeling was very awkward, very insecured, very uncomfortable.. thought i just came face-to-face with the "life-n-death" fact of life! How momentary life could be? Just before i left house that morning Goldy was merrily swimming around in her territory, & how, when & what could have happened in those 15 hours?? What Goldy must have felt when she was just a minute away from her death, what Tango must have been through when he saw Goldy – dying, dying n dead?? Cant even imagine what those poor animals must have gone thru’!! Tango must have been so helpless, he couldnt even have asked for help, even if wanted to ask — whom to ask n how to??
God!! That feels so sad, so terrible, so hurt!! Till date couldnt stop thinking over these questions, which i know will always remain unanswered.
 
Will miss Goldy very much… my sweet friends joined me in praying for Goldy.. Goldy I will miss you so much, Tango will miss you too, though i can never hear him or see him crying or missing you, but yes with all of us he’s missing you too!! But the 11months when you were here we all had so much of fun, will cherish those moments always.. We all love you Goldy… You are here, with us — forever!
 
 
May Goldy’s soul rest in peace!! Amen !!

Friends Forever … !!!

   

First day at school, Grumpy faced n tears in the eyes. Too hesitant to talk to anyone Sitting in a corner.. alone. She walked to me, Twinkle in the eyes –  a smile on the lips “Friends?” she asked.
I looked around the corner, the world seemed to be too busy to even look at me
And oh someone noticed me. She gave me a handkerchief, opened her bag n gave me a chocolate. I wiped my tears away, smiled and said “Friends!”
On Sunday we had lots of fun. Ate ice-cream, chocolates all day long. Went to the zoo, watched cartoon movies, till mom forced me to the bed.
I forgot to finish my homework, and i was long lost in my world of dreams.
“Class, show me the homework”, said the teacher the following day.
And I filmed the flashback Sunday, the ice-cream, the chocolate, the zoo, and the cartoons…. and heard the teacher yelling, “Anyone without homework, goes out of my class and kneels down in the corridor”
She looked at me, and just by the look on my face, she knew it!
The Teacher went to her bench she stood up and said “Sorry teacher, I forgot to do my homework”. We were kneeling down in the corridor, & I said “I know you have done your homework and you are still here bcoz of me, why?”
She just smiled and said, “Remember? we are friends?”
It was the graduation day. We all were very happy. I told her i have more than one
reason today to be happy. Secrets shared & told her about the guy i like.
She was so happy for me, when I told her he has asked me out today.
We were together till the evening, when she dropped me by the pub
for my first and grand date
He had said he will come by 6, it was 6.40 now … i waited
thought maybe he’s stuck with some work. Let me be patient n not over-react
It was now 7 in my watch … I went to the restroom n started crying
I called her up and cried n cried n cried, till she said, “Hang on am cuming there!”
I hadn’t stopped crying till the next morning. She just listened to me throughout the night, without even interrupting me once. She walked me to the door
I turned n said, “Thanks, friend!” She said “Remember whenever you need me,
I’ll always be there for you”.
It was my first day at work, and i was running late! Damn…
My door bell rang just in time to have her by the door
“What are you still doing in here? You getting late for work!
Pick up your stuff quickly, and come, am waiting in the car”
I always had her by my side, in ups and downs, through thick n thin
Its been a wonderful life, with such a friend by my side.
I look back at the past, with smile on my face n tear in my eye.
how much I miss her today n every single day with
only memories in my mind…
I may not see her everyday today, we don’t even talk often…
I pray for her to be happy always and i know she does it too…
Life can get easy n can get tougher.
But as we always know and believe
We are Friends Forever …. !!!!

When Am Gone ….

 
I may not say but am hurt,
for all that you have said n done
to humiliate my love!
 
Am not sorry that i "loved" you
but now you sure do
make me feel sorry
that i loved "you"
 
I dont know what love meant to you?
Love to me meant ….
the whole world — to me,
it meant YOU!!
 
You slammed the phone down
When i called you last
I still tried calling
till the hundredth time …
 
You walked away like a stanger
when we met at the mall
you turned your back to me
and were long gone even
before i could say goodbye…
 
Am never gonna phone you,
Am never gonna meet you,
Am not gonna waste my life
crying for you …
 
I know you will remember me
when we wont be together …
And am sure you gonna miss me
When am gone forever ….!!!
 
– YOGiNi 🙂

Chhoone ko abhi Aasman kaee baaki hai….

 
 
 
Tanha main akela, chal pada hoon yahan,
Durr hai manjil, aur raasta hai mushkil,
Phir bhi ai dil tu na ghabrana,
Jeetenge hum hai poora yakin,
Na saathi hai na koi sahara,
Par isi rehgujar se tujhe hai chalna,
 
Mushkil hain raahein, to kya gham hai?
Tanha hai safar, to kya gham hai?
Manjil hai durr, to kya gham hai?
Sathi na koi, toh kya gham hai?
Haunsale hai buland yeh kya kam hai?
 
Thak jaaye jo chalte-chlate tu
Gardan uthake uss badal ko dekh
Aankhen uthakar uss suraj ko dekh
Baahein failaker uss hawa ko chhoo le
Saanson me phir bhar le usse,
 
Nayi ummeedein, naya haunsla lekar ke
Phir chal pad apni manjil pe tu
Haar na maane jo kabhi, woh hum hai!
Rukna na jaane kabhi, woh hum hai!
 
Inn rahon me paana bahut kuch hai kyunki….
Chhoone ko abhi aasman kaee baki hai……!!!
 
-YOGiNi 🙂