“A few drinks are OK– but not so many!”
“A few minutes delay is OK– but not so much!”
“Spending some money is OK – but not so much!”
Whenever I hear such sentences, I wonder how one can really quantify those ‘a few’ and ‘not so much’. How can you possibly know how much to stop at?
It’s really situational I think. You cannot set bars so generically at things that have nothing in common. The standards for ‘a few’ and ‘not so much’ that’s really OK shouldn’t be based on someone’s experience & definitely shouldn’t be the same for all situations. In fact, you shouldn’t even borrow it from one of your own past experiences for the future situations.
The same applies to interpersonal relationships and friendships. Not only the times change, people change as well. While it is important not to misunderstand and act impulsive as these relations are a part of your being, it isn’t fair to mistrust your inner voice & slacken your self-respect at the same time. Try to assess the situation before deciding how much of anything is really okay. Trust me; you would know it more than anyone else.
This does not hold true only for situations within your comfort zone, but also outside it – like at your workplace. Be yourself – do not emulate or do things out of your character to impress your boss, show your commitment and be dedicated, be confident & rely on your skills to impress your employer, give and earn respect – you know it all. But probably what most of us forget, is amidst respecting the job, the employer, co-workers, subordinates, etc., – respecting your self is equally important too. Don’t just let someone spoil your day or your work or demotivate you unnecessarily in the name of professionalism. Although you should not take it personally and ignore the trivial or insignificant matters as much as possible – but you MUST stand up for yourself when wrongly accused for no fault of yours. A friend of mine once said – one needs to take all the shit from the boss if they want to survive and grow at the work place. Well, I really don’t buy that!
If only a few drinks can be okay but too much can harm – wouldn’t too much criticism & unjust treatment at work harm as well? Like you should know when to stop drinking, you should also know how much unethical and unfair behavior to be tolerated. What I am trying to say here is – since you know yourself best – know when the ‘OK’s’ of your life cross their limit to become ‘but not so much’ & learn to say STOP and help yourself!