When it is all feelings that matter, A love never spoken, but seen in someone’s eyes. Away from a touch, a sight and a thought, Somewhere deep in the deepest of heart. ...Its way beyond the worldly pleasures And material world doesn't matter at all! When your picture shined in their twinkling eyes And the presence you felt in their absence around A love far more than your eyes can ever see. ...Its way beyond... You give up all that you proudly own Without even a hint of regret. Just to fulfill their incomplete dreams. A love far more than your mind can think ....Its way beyond... You are not alone in the loneliest of paths. When you feel bright in the darkest of hours. A disguised feeling keeps you safe and warm. A love far more than your skin can feel. ...Its way beyond... Yet, sometimes a sob through the dark nights When you try to remember their voice And a heart that twitches when you Touch the photo by your bedside And the time warps to the long Gone days of your togetherness A faint smile that crosses your lips. As a tear rolls down, and then.... Then...you breathe their presence. And you feel them much beyond the senses... You feel the love somewhere deep in the deepest of your heart! ...Its way beyond the worldly pleasures and the material world doesn't matter at all! -------------------------------------------------------------- Watched this movie 'Up'. Absolutely loved it, the poem happened after I watched the film.
Buddhism explains Nirvana as ‘a state of bliss or peace and this state may be experienced in life, or it may be entered into at death.’
There comes a point in everyone’s life when it all just seems to be over. The relations that you blindly trusted on seem to have been fooling you. People you loved seem to have never loved you. People you respected seem to have never cared about you. The dreams that you had been running after seem to be meaningless. The hopes that you had for tomorrow seem to be hopeless. It seems that you have been left all alone…alone in the entire world. Nothing seems to be right, nothing seems to matter, no one seems to be bothered, and no one seems to be worried…hopes get faded, emotions become immune, feelings do not matter, and tears get dried. You feel nothing, your heart doesn’t ache…and then you finally realize no feeling, no emotion is left in you…can a human survive without emotions? What is it like to live without emotions?
What helps you at this point? You cannot count on your people; they don’t seem to be bothered. You cannot count on friends, they seem to be distanced. Think for yourself…what keeps you going? Only you can help yourself. At this point, no external entity can come to your rescue. You have to be your own savior. Help yourself from drowning. Help yourself to regain what you have lost – trust, faith, love, confidence, hopes, dreams, self-respect…the list is too long. Sit back and close your eyes…think for yourself – nobody is going to think for you. Question yourself – you know them better. Find the answers within you – no one’s going to answer them for you. Then break free – break free from past…break free from false hopes…free your spirits…free your mind…free your soul…rise up higher…higher than the last time. And once again play… play along with life!! Life – a vicious circle, indefinite, uncertain, ambiguous…you know it all. No escape till you live!! So just play along… Forget everything and just play… play it loud..!! Play it ‘yourself’, play it ‘for’ yourself! Break free from everything and play it loud – that’s the key to existence…attain the eternal blissful state of Nirvana – while you continue to live in this world – the mirage – should I say the illusion of Nirvana?
I was searching some material for my animation studies on Youtube when I came across ‘it’. I was at the start of a circle again and it began…a journey into the past. A faint smile appeared on my face, something twitched at the heart, and my childhood days were back. I wanted to go back to that time and hold all the memories close to my heart. The television industry of India in late eighties was one of my prized memories from childhood. I haven’t been so happy and emotional at the same time.
I sat for hours searching for all that I could get my hands on. The Door Darshan anthem, Ek-anek commercial, Malgudi days, He-man and of course Mile sur mera tumhara. Oh how much I love them all! I must have been in primary (in 2 or 3 std, maybe) when these were aired; all the memories came rushing with a great force. How we all used to wait impatiently for the Door Darshan to start. Unlike today, where there are n numbers of channels, you just had the Door Darshan then… the very first of its kind, as we all know. So of course one can guess the amount of pleasure, fun, eagerness, excitement it planted in you. We being toddlers were not allowed to touch the T.V. so we were the most impatient and eager of the lot. I remember we had a black & white TV set and it was beautiful! I remember very few houses had TV sets and those who had, had b&w sets. Usually there would be a TV set at one house and all the neighborhood would gather there…that’s the unity and integrity that Door Darshan taught! Then there it goes, at somewhere about 5 or 5.30pm, the Door Darshan would begin! The music still rings in my ears 🙂 giving a nostalgic feeling.
Door Darshan would be on for sometime in the morning or afternoon as well but only for some time. We would be either off to school or sleeping so I don’t remember much of that. Whatever would be aired on DD (as it was called) we would sit glued and watch without missing even a tiny bit. Be it news or commercial or serial or whatever. There was DD news, there was He-man, Giant Robot, Chitrahar, Ramayan, Mahabharat, Surabhi, Jungle book (I loved that), Potli baba ki and the most loved educational commercial, national integrity commercials… and soo many more. Buland bharat ki buland tasveer, hamara bajaj… Jab main chhota ladka tha, badi shararat karta tha… and I love you Rasna…Lijjat papad…Phew!! I remember them all… wow! I remember most of the TV commercials, most of the program title tracks and story lines and characters and I bet I would remember them all my life. Unlike today’s commercials which no one would remember after 25-30 years simply because there are many of the kind today. The uniqueness of DD is just one of its kinds. DD would be on only for a certain time and then would be go off air (I don’t know what would it be termed as because today all the channels run 247!) Those were the days! I remember every bit of that pleasure, that excitement, it has me euphoric. Everything DD aired at that time was meaningful, thoughtful, taught us something, and gave extreme pleasure!
The television world today can never create the same magic. Its just a thing to cherish. Of course I thank a million to the technology today as I got all that stuff on internet. But it is very truly said ‘old is gold’ and the coming generations would never experience that. I know every generation has something of its own and something to take with it but I just feel technology has made it all too simple, which is good in a way but you can’t deny some excitement is missing in it. My generation which has witnessed how life changed with the turning point in technology will only be too blissful to have experienced both the sides by standing at the turning point. I am in a great mood since yesterday and I am sure this elated feeling is going to last for a long time. And of course this same feeling will come to me when I’ll think about DD, even after many years from now. Today there may be hundreds of channels but it would never give me the same feeling as DD used to. And I am more than sure it has the same effect on all those who have grown up seeing DD, to remember, to feel, to see and re-live those wonderful days.
Baat yeh nahi ke hum kitne roothe hai
Baat yeh hai ke aapne kitna manaya hai?
Baat yeh hai ke aapne kitna bhula diya?
Baat yeh hai ke aap kitna muskuraye ho?
Baat yeh hai ke aapne kitna sambhala hai?
Baat yeh hai ke aapne kitna savara hai?
She stood by the bonfire, on the chilly winter night. She called him once, she called him twice. But he didn’t bother to respond. Because he was busy with his girl & his friends. He looked at her, & turned his face away. She meant nothing to him, not even a friend! He behaved as if he never heard her, although both were well aware of the negligible distance between them. Very conveniently he chose to ignore her. She thought he may have not heard her, or rather she convinced herself so. She wasn’t the first girl he’d ignored, & she knew that too well. This wasn’t the first time he’d ignored her, & this certainly wasn’t the first time she’d felt hurt. Yet she let him do that over & over & over again. She so wished she’d vanish into the thin air, rather than standing there in front of him. She was at work, he walked through the entire floor, spoke to every possible person, but her. He chose to ignore her presence, yet again. There are many ways to hurt someone without saying a word, without a single action…. he’d mastered them all!
It didn’t matter anything to him. He didn’t once think what she’s going through, how hurt is she feeling. It just didn’t matter him. He only turns a blind eye towards the warm tear which rolled down her cold cheek & was soon lost. He only turns a deaf ear towards the clashing sound of her heart which was broken into thousands of tiny pieces!! Does she still love him in spite of all those hurts & pains? Does she still feel the same way? She’s hurt. She’s sad. She feels a stabbing pain, which is totally unbearable. A promise to herself – he’s out of my life today, a promise to herself – she’d never let anyone hurt her anymore. She prays to God to give her all the strength so that she’d come over it. Every sleepless night she can’t help herself but think about him. Every single second when her mind is unoccupied she struggles so hard to push his thoughts aside. Every dream dreamt she can’t forget his face. A familiar voice in the crowd & she turns her head, wishing unknowingly, for him to be there. A tiny thought of him & she fights her tears back bravely. The disturbing feeling – that she has lost him forever, a huge fear that – she’d never see him again, a fact that – he has scooped her out of his life, she struggles with all her strength to smile, to breathe, to live, to survive! She gathers up the infinite tiny pieces of her shattered heart, puts them together, only to realize – every bit her crushed heart, still loves him…!!
We Make Them Cry Who Care For Us,
We Cry For Those Who Never Care For Us,
We Care For Those Who Will Never Cry For Us,
This Is The Truth…. Its Strange But True….
My wings are weak, or I’ve forgotten to fly
Can’t remember what’s it like to be in the blue sky
Can’t feel the touch of the first drop of rain
Can’t remember how the wet soil smells….
Something strange tugs at the heart-strings
reminding me of all that’s lost in the last spring
all the hurts & pain seem to be diminished
Infinite thoughts struggling to be unleashed….
The aura is faded, the spirit is jaded
Shades of all blues is what now pervaded
Is this true or just another illusion
Can’t help this feeling of being cocooned ….
Want to break free & let the time unwind
Want to bury all the heart-aches behind
Let it be heard loud without another sigh
Just spread the wings broader & fly really high……..
16th Century, Rajasthan
Meera, born in the royal Rajput family of Merat. At 18, married to Raja Bhoj, the crown prince of Mewad. As a child, she watched a marriage procession and asked her mother who her husband was. Her mother, pointed to the statue of Krishna, never thinking how seriously Meera is going to take that. That day on, Krishna became her friend, her lover, her husband, her world, her life. The princess having everything at her say, knew nothing, needed nothing, other than being in thoughts of Krishna, whom she adored more than anything else in the world. Having married and moved to Mewad with her husband, Meera still considered Krishna as her lover, her husband. Lost in the divine love of Krishna, Meera forgets her lawfully wedded husband, forgets her family, and forgets the whole world. Doesn’t care for what she’s supposed to do and what she’s expected to do. She was accused of crossing the “Kul ki maryada”, having brought shame to the family. She was taunted, tortured n accused every time. Meera still couldn’t keep herself from thinking about & being lost in the love of her beloved krishna. She started referring him as her husband, publicly, through her poems (Meera, has composed about 5000 poems, and is considered as one of the Asia’s greatest poets) which aroused the rage & anger among the royal family of Raja Bhoj. Just imagine this is the 16th century, a married woman adores a man, other than her husband (Of course, Meera was lost in the love of Lord Krishna.. but for the society, her thinking about another man, be it a God, is a Sin!!)
Within 4 years of her marriage, her husband was killed in a battle. Meera, a born rebel, refused to commit Sati, only to face the rage of her in-laws and the society. Many attempts on her life were made by her in-laws, her brother-in-law, the new king of Mewad, sends her a glass of poison.
To this, Meera sings:
“Vish ka pyala, Ranaji ne bheja, peevat Meera haasi re ||”
(From the famous peom – “Pag ghunghroo baandh Meera nachi re|| “)
Its then, that Meera leaves the house of her in-laws. She then seeks shelter at her father’s place, ironically, where once again she’s rejected and insulted.
“Log kahe Meera huee baawri, baap kahe kulnaashi re||”
Actually speaking Meera was a silent rebel. It’s definitely not easy for someone to go against the wishes of one’s family, or society, especially when everyone else looks up to you. She was a princess, she was accountable for every move she makes, and she was answerable to her subjects. She didn’t say anything but her belief was enough for people to believe she’s a threat to the society, a shame for the family, for its hollow pride, for its image. Can’t imagine how did she manage to be so different from others, in that era, when a man thought for a woman, she wasn’t even supposed to think for herself! She was born & brought up to think she can’t lead her life, the way she wants but the way the man of the family wants. She can’t have her own decisions, she can’t think for herself. It takes a lot of courage to live a life such as this. How did Meera manage to stand up for what she believed, even when her own family was against her? Even when they disowned her? Even when they wanted to kill her? And come to think of this, who would think your own family plans to poison you? In spite of knowing, in her hands, she holds her death; she picks us the glass of poison, just for her love for Krishna!
Meera is, of course, one of the greatest poet & saint Hindustan is blessed with, what I adore most about her, is her brave spirit, in spite being a woman (of the 16th century), she did what she believed, she lived for what she believed, she rebelled for what she believed, she died for what she believed, no matter how many hurdles her path had, no matter her own people didn’t stand by her side. Now that’s what I call a perfect life, no sorry, no regrets. You are accountable for your life; you are responsible for your decisions. Hats off to that courage, to that dedication, to that spirit!
Today evening when i was returning from my classes, i saw this proud father trying to help his teen-something daughter learn bicycle. The kid was losing her balance while trying to pedal. But of course the father wouldn’t let her fall. There was this sense of satisfaction n pride on his face. She was struggling so hard to keep the balance n pedal at the same time and just wasn’t successful even once, i felt so bored looking at that in just sometime, but look at this – her father never once gave up on her and obviously wasn’t bored! Every time she lost the balance he would quickly move n keep her from falling, teaching and correcting her every time even when she committed the same mistakes over and over again, i mean look at the kinda patience and dedication fathers have. This girl was damn terrified and tensed, as oppose to that her father was quite calm and patient, never once bored.
Yesterday at office they had some kids carnival, quite a lot of employees had got their kids along. Mark, my colleague, had got his kids too. The way Mark is every day at work, much in contrast to that, he was so different. Every day we see Mark as just another person, but yesterday we saw different facet of him, a typical-father, who’s taking immense pride in introducing his daughters to each of his colleague, really happy when they received compliments. Hmm… Fathers!
I came home, and as i sat back on the sofa, memories of those old days came rushing, when Dad had helped us learn the bicycle, when dad used to help us with the homework. When his small gesture of appreciation to that childish “sun-mountain-river-hut” picture used to make me feel like a great artist. When he made this daddy’s-little-girl feel like a princess on her birthday. The enormous pride on his face when he saw me performing at school. The defensive attitude when the neighbors complained about my mischeivious behavior. When he looked after and took care of me when I was down with a simple cold and fever. When he used to scold me, for my good, while teaching me math (I am bad with math 😦 till date!)
I still remember when i was a small kid n had major trouble looking at watch n understanding the time, Dad had made me sit on his laps, made me look at his wristwatch, introduced me to the “seconds-hand”, “minute-hand” and the “hour-hand”, made me count till 60 n i saw the minute hand move! First thought its some magic which Daddy darling does, he then explained how the time moves on, when n how the hour hand moves, and I remember I used to sit for hours together, amused by this watch-thingy n waiting for the hour hand to move. Those are the best-ever days of one’s’ life, am sure most of us will agree with that. Must be really a nice feeling to be a parent, but a lot troublesome too, i guess!
Memories of this and all other things took over my mind and I just sat there for God-knows how long, thinking about those sweet memories of the good old childhood days.
Thank you Dad, for everything ….. !!!
Miss you dearly Dad !!
Its Friday night n am feeling blue The moon duznt shine the way it used to A silent tear rolls down my cheek N I know am gonna miss you!! Something is missing in the air Stars seem to be weeping with me The breeze isn’t pleasant anymore Something's terribly wrong with them all Loving someone isn't always nice Sometimes it brings tears to your eyes Sometimes it means you just can't have it & sometimes its having to say 'Good-bye' Am sad to think of that day Without you anywhere around My eyes will still search you desperately N they'll never find you...!! Say Good-bye to the moments...... When I had you near me Say Good-bye to the moments...... Which I shared with you Say Good-bye to the moments...... When I laughed with you Say Good-bye to the moments...... When we were together Good-bye to you my love....... Good-bye FOREVER..... !!!!
Wanna Know You More, Haven’t Felt This Way Before
You’re Here, Am Here, In This Silent Night
Just Wanna Be With You, Forever n Ever
Want To Be With You Like Never Before
You Made Me Laugh, You Made Me Cry
Yet Every Moment Was A Blissful Delight
Want To Hold Onto It Every Second
A Night Like This, Will Never Come Again
We’re Here This Moment, Can’t The Time Just Stop Tonite?
Seems Like A Dream, But Oh! It True
Want To Live This Dream n Forget All Sorrows
Want To Live This Night As If There’s No Tomorrow………!!!!!!
It was so painful to see Goldy dead… it meant she’ll never swim around in my fish-bowl.. it meant i wont see her ever again.. it meant she was gone forever.. it meant Tango had lost his partner – forever – A loss just irreplacable !! Just couldnt help thinking, if am so hurt and disturbed, what Tango must be going thru’?? So what if Tango is a fish, the feeling of loss of partner’s life would still be the same for Tango as well right?
God!! That feels so sad, so terrible, so hurt!! Till date couldnt stop thinking over these questions, which i know will always remain unanswered.
Shehar ki is bheed mein
Bhaag daud bhari zindagi mein
Tanha chalti main
Dhoopbhari lambi sadkon par,
Gaadiyon ki lambi qatarein
Laakhon chehro mein
Kisiko dhoondhti main
Naye chehre, nayi baatein
Naye din, nayi raatein
Laakhon logo ke beech bhi
Tanha akeli main
Ghadi ke kaanton par saans leti
Khud hi khudko sambhalti-samjhati
Din ka har ek pal gujarti
Tanha akeli main
Dil me kaee khwaishe hain
Aur khuli aankhon me sapne
Ummedon ki zameen bhi hain
Buss tanha akeli main
Khushi Hai Tumse, Gam Hai Tumse
Dard Hai Tumse, Ehsaas Hai Tumse
Khushiyan-hi-Khushiyan Har Taraf Hai
Is Zindagi Me Tu Shaamil Hai Jab Se~*~*~ 03 February 2008@Arttech fest ~*~*~
I sat all by myself, sobbing n wondering
from quiet sometime – the same old misunderstanding
We spoke for about an hour
He had a hard time convincing me
But finally he did .. !!
There! he knows exactly
what to do when am angry..
and bring back a smile on my face.
yes! Christmas brings happiness
I got my gift – i got him back
back in my life – life looks b’ful now
But for me its none other than YOU !!
Dont stop calling me … i fear – i’ll miss you
Dont be so caring … i fear – i’ll need you
Dont be too sweet … i fear – i’ll love you
First day at school, Grumpy faced n tears in the eyes. Too hesitant to talk to anyone Sitting in a corner.. alone. She walked to me, Twinkle in the eyes – a smile on the lips “Friends?” she asked.I looked around the corner, the world seemed to be too busy to even look at me
And oh someone noticed me. She gave me a handkerchief, opened her bag n gave me a chocolate. I wiped my tears away, smiled and said “Friends!”On Sunday we had lots of fun. Ate ice-cream, chocolates all day long. Went to the zoo, watched cartoon movies, till mom forced me to the bed.
I forgot to finish my homework, and i was long lost in my world of dreams.“Class, show me the homework”, said the teacher the following day.
And I filmed the flashback Sunday, the ice-cream, the chocolate, the zoo, and the cartoons…. and heard the teacher yelling, “Anyone without homework, goes out of my class and kneels down in the corridor”She looked at me, and just by the look on my face, she knew it!
The Teacher went to her bench she stood up and said “Sorry teacher, I forgot to do my homework”. We were kneeling down in the corridor, & I said “I know you have done your homework and you are still here bcoz of me, why?”
She just smiled and said, “Remember? we are friends?”It was the graduation day. We all were very happy. I told her i have more than one
reason today to be happy. Secrets shared & told her about the guy i like.
She was so happy for me, when I told her he has asked me out today.
We were together till the evening, when she dropped me by the pubfor my first and grand dateHe had said he will come by 6, it was 6.40 now … i waited
thought maybe he’s stuck with some work. Let me be patient n not over-react
It was now 7 in my watch … I went to the restroom n started crying
I called her up and cried n cried n cried, till she said, “Hang on am cuming there!”I hadn’t stopped crying till the next morning. She just listened to me throughout the night, without even interrupting me once. She walked me to the door
I turned n said, “Thanks, friend!” She said “Remember whenever you need me,
I’ll always be there for you”.It was my first day at work, and i was running late! Damn…
My door bell rang just in time to have her by the door
“What are you still doing in here? You getting late for work!
Pick up your stuff quickly, and come, am waiting in the car”I always had her by my side, in ups and downs, through thick n thin
Its been a wonderful life, with such a friend by my side.
I look back at the past, with smile on my face n tear in my eye.
how much I miss her today n every single day with
only memories in my mind…I may not see her everyday today, we don’t even talk often…
I pray for her to be happy always and i know she does it too…
Life can get easy n can get tougher.
But as we always know and believe
We are Friends Forever …. !!!!
for all that you have said n done
to humiliate my love!
but now you sure do
make me feel sorry
that i loved "you"
Love to me meant ….
the whole world — to me,
it meant YOU!!
When i called you last
I still tried calling
till the hundredth time …
when we met at the mall
you turned your back to me
and were long gone even
before i could say goodbye…
Am never gonna meet you,
Am not gonna waste my life
crying for you …
when we wont be together …
And am sure you gonna miss me
When am gone forever ….!!!