Love beyond the senses…

When it is all feelings that matter,
A love never spoken, but seen in someone’s eyes.
Away from a touch, a sight and a thought,
Somewhere deep in the deepest of heart.
...Its way beyond the worldly pleasures
And
material world doesn't matter at all!

When your picture shined in their twinkling eyes
And the presence you felt in their absence around
A love far more than your eyes can ever see.
...Its way beyond...

You give up all that you proudly own
Without even a hint of regret.
Just to fulfill their incomplete dreams.
A love far more than your mind can think
....Its way beyond...

You are not alone in the loneliest of paths.
When you feel bright in the darkest of hours.
A disguised feeling keeps you safe and warm.
A love far more than your skin can feel.
...Its way beyond...

Yet, sometimes a sob through the dark nights
When you try to remember their voice
And a heart that twitches when you
Touch the photo by your bedside
And the time warps to the long
Gone days of your togetherness
A faint smile that crosses your lips.
As a tear rolls down, and then....
Then...you breathe their presence.
And you feel them much beyond the senses...
You feel the love somewhere
deep in the deepest of your heart!
...Its way beyond the worldly pleasures
and
the material world doesn't matter at all!
--------------------------------------------------------------
Watched this movie 'Up'. Absolutely loved it, the poem happened after I watched the
film.
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How’d you like to be in Nirvana?

Buddhism explains Nirvana as ‘a state of bliss or peace and this state may be experienced in life, or it may be entered into at death.’

There comes a point in everyone’s life when it all just seems to be over. The relations that you blindly trusted on seem to have been fooling you. People you loved seem to have never loved you. People you respected seem to have never cared about you. The dreams that you had been running after seem to be meaningless. The hopes that you had for tomorrow seem to be hopeless. It seems that you have been left all alone…alone in the entire world. Nothing seems to be right, nothing seems to matter, no one seems to be bothered, and no one seems to be worried…hopes get faded, emotions become immune, feelings do not matter, and tears get dried. You feel nothing, your heart doesn’t ache…and then you finally realize no feeling, no emotion is left in you…can a human survive without emotions? What is it like to live without emotions?

What helps you at this point? You cannot count on your people; they don’t seem to be bothered. You cannot count on friends, they seem to be distanced. Think for yourself…what keeps you going? Only you can help yourself. At this point, no external entity can come to your rescue. You have to be your own savior. Help yourself from drowning. Help yourself to regain what you have lost – trust, faith, love, confidence, hopes, dreams, self-respect…the list is too long. Sit back and close your eyes…think for yourself – nobody is going to think for you. Question yourself – you know them better. Find the answers within you – no one’s going to answer them for you. Then break free – break free from past…break free from false hopes…free your spirits…free your mind…free your soul…rise up higher…higher than the last time. And once again play… play along with life!! Life – a vicious circle, indefinite, uncertain, ambiguous…you know it all. No escape till you live!! So just play along… Forget everything and just play…  play it loud..!! Play it ‘yourself’, play it ‘for’ yourself! Break free from everything and play it loud – that’s the key to existence…attain the eternal blissful state of Nirvana – while you continue to live in this world – the mirage – should I say the illusion of Nirvana?

Mile Sur Mera Tumhara

I was searching some material for my animation studies on Youtube when I came across ‘it’. I was at the start of a circle again and it began…a journey into the past. A faint smile appeared on my face, something twitched at the heart, and my childhood days were back. I wanted to go back to that time and hold all the memories close to my heart. The television industry of India in late eighties was one of my prized memories from childhood. I haven’t been so happy and emotional at the same time.

I sat for hours searching for all that I could get my hands on. The Door Darshan anthem, Ek-anek commercial, Malgudi days, He-man and of course Mile sur mera tumhara. Oh how much I love them all! I must have been in primary (in 2 or 3 std, maybe) when these were aired; all the memories came rushing with a great force. How we all used to wait impatiently for the Door Darshan to start. Unlike today, where there are n numbers of channels, you just had the Door Darshan then… the very first of its kind, as we all know. So of course one can guess the amount of pleasure, fun, eagerness, excitement it planted in you. We being toddlers were not allowed to touch the T.V. so we were the most impatient and eager of the lot. I remember we had a black & white TV set and it was beautiful!  I remember very few houses had TV sets and those who had, had b&w sets. Usually there would be a TV set at one house and all the neighborhood would gather there…that’s the unity and integrity that Door Darshan taught! Then there it goes, at somewhere about 5 or 5.30pm, the Door Darshan would begin!  The music still rings in my ears 🙂 giving a nostalgic feeling.

Door Darshan would be on for sometime in the morning or afternoon as well but only for some time. We would be either off to school or sleeping so I don’t remember much of that. Whatever would be aired on DD (as it was called) we would sit glued and watch without missing even a tiny bit. Be it news or commercial or serial or whatever. There was DD news, there was He-man, Giant Robot, Chitrahar, Ramayan, Mahabharat, Surabhi, Jungle book (I loved that), Potli baba ki and the most loved educational commercial, national integrity commercials… and soo many more. Buland bharat ki buland tasveer, hamara bajaj… Jab main chhota ladka tha, badi shararat karta tha… and I love you Rasna…Lijjat papad…Phew!! I remember them all… wow! I remember most of the TV commercials, most of the program title tracks and story lines and characters and I bet I would remember them all my life. Unlike today’s commercials which no one would remember after 25-30 years simply because there are many of the kind today. The uniqueness of DD is just one of its kinds. DD would be on only for a certain time and then would be go off air (I don’t know what would it be termed as because today all the channels run 247!) Those were the days! I remember every bit of that pleasure, that excitement, it has me euphoric. Everything DD aired at that time was meaningful, thoughtful, taught us something, and gave extreme pleasure!

The television world today can never create the same magic. Its just a thing to cherish. Of course I thank a million to the technology today as I got all that stuff on internet. But it is very truly said ‘old is gold’ and the coming generations would never experience that. I know every generation has something of its own and something to take with it but I just feel technology has made it all too simple, which is good in a way but you can’t deny some excitement is missing in it. My generation which has witnessed how life changed with the turning point in technology will only be too blissful to have experienced both the sides by standing at the turning point. I am in a great mood since yesterday and I am sure this elated feeling is going to last for a long time. And of course this same feeling will come to me when I’ll think about DD, even after many years from now. Today there may be hundreds of channels but it would never give me the same feeling as DD used to. And I am more than sure it has the same effect on all those who have grown up seeing DD, to remember, to feel, to see and re-live those wonderful days.

Swings of uncertainty

I find it extremely amusing to see how life changes overnight. I get up in the morning to see the whole world around me changed. People changed, lives changed, fates changed, stories changed, relations changed, thoughts changed, faiths changed, almost everything around me is changed. Its no more the way it was yesterday. But then can’t help thinking, is it them who’ve changed or is it me? Or rather, is it me who’s NOT changed? What is it? Could it be possible that the whole world changed, while I was sleeping, leaving me just the way I am? Am I not a part of it, too? Instead, is it possible that only I changed, went beyond the world, the time, leaving them all far behind? But if I am a part of the change, then why am I the only one changing? And if I am a part of the change too, why don’t I feel  the change in me? So what is it? Apparently, things are changing drastically around me, leaving me totally baffled, not for good or bad. Its just the change that’s bothering me. Not that I am disturbed by the changes in great deal but that… I didn’t see that coming! More than that, its me who’s responsible for the changes in some or the other way, but well, I dint see that coming either! The mind just keeps swinging back and forth to this and so many other unsure things those keep happening at the back of my mind. This swing of uncertainly, this flow of thought, will have to subside soon. But I am also aware that some thoughts never die, wonder what keeps them alive? Is it not me who is helping these thoughts achieve the immortality that they’ve attained? And wonder why I let that happen?

Baat


Baat yeh nahi ke hum kitne roothe hai
Baat yeh hai ke aapne kitna manaya hai?
 
Baat yeh nahi ke humne kitna yaad kiya
Baat yeh hai ke aapne kitna bhula diya?
 
Baat yeh nahi ke hum kitna roye hai
Baat yeh hai ke aap kitna muskuraye ho?
 
Baat yeh nahi ke hum kitne toote hai
Baat yeh hai ke aapne kitna sambhala hai?
 
Baat yeh nahi ke hum kitne bikhre hai
Baat yeh hai ke aapne kitna savara hai?
 
Aaj baat hamari nahi…. Aaj baat toh aapki hai ….!!

Vicious Love…

She stood by the bonfire, on the chilly winter night. She called him once, she called him twice. But he didn’t bother to respond. Because he was busy with his girl & his friends. He looked at her, & turned his face away. She meant nothing to him, not even a friend! He behaved as if he never heard her, although both were well aware of the negligible distance between them. Very conveniently he chose to ignore her. She thought he may have not heard her, or rather she convinced herself so. She wasn’t the first girl he’d ignored, & she knew that too well. This wasn’t the first time he’d ignored her, & this certainly wasn’t the first time she’d felt hurt. Yet she let him do that over & over & over again. She so wished she’d vanish into the thin air, rather than standing there in front of him. She was at work, he walked through the entire floor, spoke to every possible person, but her. He chose to ignore her presence, yet again. There are many ways to hurt someone without saying a word, without a single action…. he’d mastered them all!

It didn’t matter anything to him. He didn’t once think what she’s going through, how hurt is she feeling. It just didn’t matter him. He only turns a blind eye towards the warm tear which rolled down her cold cheek & was soon lost. He only turns a deaf ear towards the clashing sound of her heart which was broken into thousands of tiny pieces!! Does she still love him in spite of all those hurts & pains? Does she still feel the same way? She’s hurt. She’s sad. She feels a stabbing pain, which is totally unbearable. A promise to herself – he’s out of my life today, a promise to herself – she’d never let anyone hurt her anymore. She prays to God to give her all the strength so that she’d come over it. Every sleepless night she can’t help herself but think about him. Every single second when her mind is unoccupied she struggles so hard to push his thoughts aside. Every dream dreamt she can’t forget his face. A familiar voice in the crowd & she turns her head, wishing unknowingly, for him to be there. A tiny thought of him & she fights her tears back bravely. The disturbing feeling – that she has lost him forever, a huge fear that – she’d never see him again, a fact that – he has scooped her out of his life, she struggles with all her strength to smile, to breathe, to live, to survive! She gathers up the infinite tiny pieces of her shattered heart, puts them together, only to realize – every bit her crushed heart, still loves him…!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We Make Them Cry Who Care For Us,
We Cry For Those Who Never Care For Us,
We Care For Those Who Will Never Cry For Us,

This Is The Truth…. Its Strange But True….

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cocooned

My wings are weak, or I’ve forgotten to fly

Can’t remember what’s it like to be in the blue sky
Can’t feel the touch of the first drop of rain
Can’t remember how the wet soil smells….

Something strange tugs at the heart-strings
reminding me of all that’s lost in the last spring
all the hurts & pain seem to be diminished
Infinite thoughts struggling to be unleashed….

The aura is faded, the spirit is jaded
Shades of all blues is what now pervaded
Is this true or just another illusion
Can’t help this feeling of being cocooned ….

Want to break free & let the time unwind
Want to bury all the heart-aches behind
Let it be heard loud without another sigh
Just spread the wings broader & fly really high……..

 

I CAN Survive

I was wrong – as always….. You proved it, yet again…
Though not through words, But your silence sed it all
For all the hurts & pains, For all the tears you gave
Just wana let u know …… I CAN survive
I shouldn’t have let you know in the first place, and when I did – I should have stopped it right then ….
But I have learned it now – learned it a very hard way! Don’t wana Love you anymore…. never again!

Meera

16th Century, Rajasthan

Meera, born in the royal Rajput family of Merat. At 18, married to Raja Bhoj, the crown prince of Mewad. As a child, she watched a marriage procession and asked her mother who her husband was. Her mother, pointed to the statue of Krishna, never thinking how seriously Meera is going to take that. That day on, Krishna became her friend, her lover, her husband, her world, her life. The princess having everything at her say, knew nothing, needed nothing, other than being in thoughts of Krishna, whom she adored more than anything else in the world. Having married and moved to Mewad with her husband, Meera still considered Krishna as her lover, her husband. Lost in the divine love of Krishna, Meera forgets her lawfully wedded husband, forgets her family, and forgets the whole world. Doesn’t care for what she’s supposed to do and what she’s expected to do. She was accused of crossing the “Kul ki maryada”, having brought shame to the family. She was taunted, tortured n accused every time. Meera still couldn’t keep herself from thinking about & being lost in the love of her beloved krishna. She started referring him as her husband, publicly, through her poems (Meera, has composed about 5000 poems, and is considered as one of the Asia’s greatest poets) which aroused the rage & anger among the royal family of Raja Bhoj. Just imagine this is the 16th century, a married woman adores a man, other than her husband (Of course, Meera was lost in the love of Lord Krishna.. but for the society, her thinking about another man, be it a God, is a Sin!!)

Within 4 years of her marriage, her husband was killed in a battle. Meera, a born rebel, refused to commit Sati, only to face the rage of her in-laws and the society. Many attempts on her life were made by her in-laws, her brother-in-law, the new king of Mewad, sends her a glass of poison.

To this, Meera sings:

“Vish ka pyala, Ranaji ne bheja, peevat Meera haasi re ||”

(From the famous peom – “Pag ghunghroo baandh Meera nachi re|| “)

Its then, that Meera leaves the house of her in-laws. She then seeks shelter at her father’s place, ironically, where once again she’s rejected and insulted.

“Log kahe Meera huee baawri, baap kahe kulnaashi re||”

Actually speaking Meera was a silent rebel. It’s definitely not easy for someone to go against the wishes of one’s family, or society, especially when everyone else looks up to you. She was a princess, she was accountable for every move she makes, and she was answerable to her subjects. She didn’t say anything but her belief was enough for people to believe she’s a threat to the society, a shame for the family, for its hollow pride, for its image. Can’t imagine how did she manage to be so different from others, in that era, when a man thought for a woman, she wasn’t even supposed to think for herself! She was born & brought up to think she can’t lead her life, the way she wants but the way the man of the family wants. She can’t have her own decisions, she can’t think for herself. It takes a lot of courage to live a life such as this. How did Meera manage to stand up for what she believed, even when her own family was against her? Even when they disowned her? Even when they wanted to kill her? And come to think of this, who would think your own family plans to poison you? In spite of knowing, in her hands, she holds her death; she picks us the glass of poison, just for her love for Krishna!

Meera is, of course, one of the greatest poet & saint Hindustan is blessed with, what I adore most about her, is her brave spirit, in spite being a woman (of the 16th century), she did what she believed, she lived for what she believed, she rebelled for what she believed, she died for what she believed, no matter how many hurdles her path had, no matter her own people didn’t stand by her side. Now that’s what I call a perfect life, no sorry, no regrets. You are accountable for your life; you are responsible for your decisions. Hats off to that courage, to that dedication, to that spirit!

– Just believing your beliefs isn’t enough, one needs to have the courage to stand for what they believe, no matter if you are the only one walking that path.

Miss You Dad !!

Today evening when i was returning from my classes, i saw this proud father trying to help his teen-something daughter learn bicycle. The kid was losing her balance while trying to pedal. But of course the father wouldn’t let her fall. There was this sense of satisfaction n pride on his face. She was struggling so hard to keep the balance n pedal at the same time and just wasn’t successful even once, i felt so bored looking at that in just sometime, but look at this – her father never once gave up on her and obviously wasn’t bored! Every time she lost the balance he would quickly move n keep her from falling, teaching and correcting her every time even when she committed the same mistakes over and over again, i mean look at the kinda patience and dedication fathers have. This girl was damn terrified and tensed, as oppose to that her father was quite calm and patient, never once bored.

 

Yesterday at office they had some kids carnival, quite a lot of employees had got their kids along. Mark, my colleague, had got his kids too. The way Mark is every day at work, much in contrast to that, he was so different. Every day we see Mark as just another person, but yesterday we saw different facet of him, a typical-father, who’s taking immense pride in introducing his daughters to each of his colleague, really happy when they received compliments. Hmm… Fathers!

 

I came home, and as i sat back on the sofa, memories of those old days came rushing, when Dad had helped us learn the bicycle, when dad used to help us with the homework. When his small gesture of appreciation to that childish “sun-mountain-river-hut” picture used to make me feel like a great artist. When he made this daddy’s-little-girl feel like a princess on her birthday. The enormous pride on his face when he saw me performing at school. The defensive attitude when the neighbors complained about my mischeivious behavior. When he looked after and took care of me when I was down with a simple cold and fever. When he used to scold me, for my good, while teaching me math (I am bad with math 😦 till date!)

 

I still remember when i was a small kid n had major trouble looking at watch n understanding the time, Dad had made me sit on his laps, made me look at his wristwatch, introduced me to the “seconds-hand”, “minute-hand” and the “hour-hand”, made me count till 60 n i saw the minute hand move! First thought its some magic which Daddy darling does, he then explained how the time moves on, when n how the hour hand moves, and I remember I used to sit for hours together, amused by this watch-thingy n waiting for the hour hand to move. Those are the best-ever days of one’s’ life, am sure most of us will agree with that. Must be really a nice feeling to be a parent, but a lot troublesome too, i guess!

 

Memories of this and all other things took over my mind and I just sat there for God-knows how long, thinking about those sweet memories of the good old childhood days.

 

Thank you Dad, for everything ….. !!!

Miss you dearly Dad !!

 

Weekend Goodbye

 

Its Friday night n am feeling blue
The moon duznt shine the way it used to
A silent tear rolls down my cheek
N I know am gonna miss you!!

Something is missing in the air
Stars seem to be weeping with me
The breeze isn’t pleasant anymore
Something's terribly wrong with them all

Loving someone isn't always nice
Sometimes it brings tears to your eyes
Sometimes it means you just can't have it
& sometimes its having to say 'Good-bye'

Am sad to think of that day
Without you anywhere around
My eyes will still search you desperately
N they'll never find you...!!

Say Good-bye to the moments...... When I had you near me
Say Good-bye to the moments...... Which I shared with you
Say Good-bye to the moments...... When I laughed with you
Say Good-bye to the moments...... When we were together

Good-bye to you my love....... Good-bye FOREVER..... !!!!

Beautiful Night

 
I know tomorrow is gonna be a b’ful morning
But we have our separate ways to walk
So take my hand n take my heart
‘coz i wanna live this moment forever
 
Tomorrow i’ll be a forgotton dream
Would you remember my name again?
This moment everything’s just fine
But tomorrow nothing’s gonna be same again
 
Like the footsteps in the sand
Either blown or washed away
My name n my existence in your life
Has the same destiny to meet
 
I dunno about tomorrow, but this moment is Mine
I’m happy and i feel divine
No one can take it away from me
It’s a Wonderful night, n it’s Mine
 
~*~*~ 06 Apr.08 — It’s indeed a b’ful night, wish it stayed forever! ~*~*~ 

As If There’s No Tomorrow

 
Hold  On To Me Tonite, Dont Stop Talking
Wanna Know You More, Haven’t Felt This Way Before
You’re Here, Am Here, In This Silent Night
Just Wanna Be With You, Forever n Ever
 
Want To Hold Your Hands, n Walk For Miles Together
Want To Be With You Like Never Before
You Made Me Laugh, You Made Me Cry
Yet Every Moment Was A Blissful Delight
 
I Wish This Night Never Ends
Want To Hold Onto It Every Second
A Night Like This, Will Never Come Again
We’re Here This Moment, Can’t The Time Just Stop Tonite?
 
Yes, There’s Something ‘Magical’ About This Night
Seems Like A Dream, But Oh! It True
Want To Live This Dream n Forget All Sorrows
Want To Live This Night As If There’s No Tomorrow………!!!!!!
 
~*~*~ 06 Apr. – Magical Moments of the silent night ~*~*~
 

Familiar Stranger

 
The eyes that say so much
With just a mere look
The touch that’s so gentle
Yet so strong
You’re my Stranger & still I like you!
 
The overpowering fragnance
When you’re near
Your words like some
magic in my ears
You’re my Stranger & still i like you!
 
Its only been some days
That I know you
But why do I think of you as
Some memory from an old dream
Hey familiar Stranger, I think I love you!
 
 

In rememberance of Goldy

11th March 2008
 
I came back from work at about 1130 pm. As soon as i turned on the lights & looked around the room, my stare just got fixed on my fish-bowl. I just couldnt believe what i was seeing, Goldy was upside-down & floating motionless!! That sight of Goldy was so aweful, I felt sudden pain & guilt.
It was so painful to see Goldy dead… it meant she’ll never swim around in my fish-bowl.. it meant i wont see her ever again.. it meant she was gone forever.. it meant Tango had lost his partner – forever –  A loss just irreplacable !! Just couldnt help thinking, if am so hurt and disturbed, what Tango must be going thru’?? So what if Tango is a fish, the feeling of loss of partner’s life would still be the same for Tango as well right?
 
Guilt feeling came over because that morning I was running late for my classes & dint even glanced at Goldy, had i known that’s the last sight of Goldy – live n moving about, i would have spent a little more time with her… Its so sad that we only realize certain things after there’s absolutely no scope of undoing it!! Goldy was my first pet fish, maybe it just happened all of a sudden & just caught me unexpectedly so i felt the pain more, it was rather an unbearable pain.. I just couldnt see Goldy like that! Rups n me burried Goldy, placed a flower upon, not a single minute went that night without thinking about how did it happen? when did it happen? how lonely Tango must be now n so many other questiones which will always remain unanswered!
 
Goldy was just a pet, just another living creature in house, isnt that true..? So why does it hurt so much? Why did i cry? I think its because loss of life – is loss of life.. the pain is universal, the sadness is universal.. no matter who’s dead — its a death after all!! This feeling was very awkward, very insecured, very uncomfortable.. thought i just came face-to-face with the "life-n-death" fact of life! How momentary life could be? Just before i left house that morning Goldy was merrily swimming around in her territory, & how, when & what could have happened in those 15 hours?? What Goldy must have felt when she was just a minute away from her death, what Tango must have been through when he saw Goldy – dying, dying n dead?? Cant even imagine what those poor animals must have gone thru’!! Tango must have been so helpless, he couldnt even have asked for help, even if wanted to ask — whom to ask n how to??
God!! That feels so sad, so terrible, so hurt!! Till date couldnt stop thinking over these questions, which i know will always remain unanswered.
 
Will miss Goldy very much… my sweet friends joined me in praying for Goldy.. Goldy I will miss you so much, Tango will miss you too, though i can never hear him or see him crying or missing you, but yes with all of us he’s missing you too!! But the 11months when you were here we all had so much of fun, will cherish those moments always.. We all love you Goldy… You are here, with us — forever!
 
 
May Goldy’s soul rest in peace!! Amen !!

Main

Bade shehron ki badi baatein
Shehar ki is bheed mein
Bhaag daud bhari zindagi mein
Tanha chalti main

Dhoopbhari lambi sadkon par,
Gaadiyon ki lambi qatarein
Laakhon chehro mein
Kisiko dhoondhti main

Naye chehre, nayi baatein
Naye din, nayi raatein
Laakhon logo ke beech bhi
Tanha akeli main

Ghadi ke kaanton par saans leti
Khud hi khudko sambhalti-samjhati
Din ka har ek pal gujarti
Tanha akeli main

Dil me kaee khwaishe hain
Aur khuli aankhon me sapne
Ummedon ki zameen bhi hain
Buss tanha akeli main

Heart felt

Cant help wondering why things have to be terrible at the end of something good?? Last week had been to Hyderabad, a 4-day outing from Institute. It was a visit to Ramoji Film city, RVML(a Production house) & a little in-an-around the city trip. Things were going absolutely smooth and fine, made some new friends (atlast! Yogini got some friends in B’lore!!) Memories of college days were back, had a great time, enjoyed a great deal. Dhammal in the bus, silly jokes, endless laughter, harmless teasing, all in all a great fun. Things were going absolutely fine but yes there was something wierd about this happiness. It was shadowed by a dismay. Just as i was about to get happier, this had to happen — I found my cellphone missing! Yes, now one might think, whats the big deal? But yes that is a big deal – this cell was not just a cell, it was a gift, a gift from Rups on my last b’day. It hasnt even been a year since she gifted me this. I cant afford to lose it! No! I cant. It was not just a cell, it was her love for me. Ofcourse i cant afford to lose that. But the truth was i had lost it! We searched the whole bus. I hated this – but everyone aboard was frisked too! But couldnt avoid the fact – I had lost it! Forever! I may get the same model from market but it would never be the same again. I just cant tell how i felt at that point of time, i just couldnt control myself & tears welled-up my eyes. Some may have thought am over-reacting, but it wasnt just about a cellphone – it was about "that" cellphone. An hour passed by, two hours, three hours – I still had a thin ray of hope that i will get it back. I so wished someone’s playing a prank & very soon everyone would laugh & tell me, "Here, your phone,we were having some fun". I dont mind if they laugh today, all i was hoping that i would get my phone back. But – I never got it back. Its a week now, i miss my phone. I still feel sad whenever i see that model in someone else’s  hand. I have never lost a thing – and a gift? never! Why did this happen now. Everyone tells me its ok, it happens … but no its not ok, it shouldnt have happened… But the truth is sad – i just cant do anything about it, nothing can be done now – not anymore.
As though this wasnt enough, things had to be even more worse for me. Was supposed to have my convocation next month. All plans made, all visits planned, all tickets booked, day before yesterday got to know that the DD which i made to pay the convo.fee is rejected! Dont know for what good reason? Government offices, ten phone numbers, several calls, no answers, number busy, curt replies, brisk answers, unfriendly people … and the outcome – not permitted to attend convocation – have to wait till the next year! I so waited for this moment only to learn – another long year to wait! Why cant there be atleast one day which is normal?? If something’s happening good, why it has to be followed by something disturbing?? Hmm… but i guess this is life!! Life – I dont quite understand you, but i guess thats how it is – to understand you is not the destination to reach but what matters is the path on which i walk. Hope the path doesnt get too worse as there’s a long way to go!

Christmas Magic

 
It was a night before Christmas, dark and cold
I sat all by myself, sobbing n wondering
wondering why did i trust him…?
My phone rang, his name flashing on the screen 
We werent talking to each other
from quiet sometime – the same old misunderstanding
 
He was at work, still
We spoke for about an hour
I wasnt willing to understand anything atall
And he wasnt ready to give up on me
He had a hard time convincing me
But finally he did .. !!
 
I blushed at his flirtatious comments
And laughed at his stupid jokes
There! he knows exactly
what to do when am angry..
and bring back a smile on my face.
 
Yes! Christmas magic works
yes! Christmas brings happiness
I got my gift – i got him back
back in my life – life looks b’ful now
I dont know whether Santa is a myth or true
But for me its none other than YOU !!
 
~ A very sweet christmas for me 🙂 . . . Thanx !!

Friends Forever … !!!

   

First day at school, Grumpy faced n tears in the eyes. Too hesitant to talk to anyone Sitting in a corner.. alone. She walked to me, Twinkle in the eyes –  a smile on the lips “Friends?” she asked.
I looked around the corner, the world seemed to be too busy to even look at me
And oh someone noticed me. She gave me a handkerchief, opened her bag n gave me a chocolate. I wiped my tears away, smiled and said “Friends!”
On Sunday we had lots of fun. Ate ice-cream, chocolates all day long. Went to the zoo, watched cartoon movies, till mom forced me to the bed.
I forgot to finish my homework, and i was long lost in my world of dreams.
“Class, show me the homework”, said the teacher the following day.
And I filmed the flashback Sunday, the ice-cream, the chocolate, the zoo, and the cartoons…. and heard the teacher yelling, “Anyone without homework, goes out of my class and kneels down in the corridor”
She looked at me, and just by the look on my face, she knew it!
The Teacher went to her bench she stood up and said “Sorry teacher, I forgot to do my homework”. We were kneeling down in the corridor, & I said “I know you have done your homework and you are still here bcoz of me, why?”
She just smiled and said, “Remember? we are friends?”
It was the graduation day. We all were very happy. I told her i have more than one
reason today to be happy. Secrets shared & told her about the guy i like.
She was so happy for me, when I told her he has asked me out today.
We were together till the evening, when she dropped me by the pub
for my first and grand date
He had said he will come by 6, it was 6.40 now … i waited
thought maybe he’s stuck with some work. Let me be patient n not over-react
It was now 7 in my watch … I went to the restroom n started crying
I called her up and cried n cried n cried, till she said, “Hang on am cuming there!”
I hadn’t stopped crying till the next morning. She just listened to me throughout the night, without even interrupting me once. She walked me to the door
I turned n said, “Thanks, friend!” She said “Remember whenever you need me,
I’ll always be there for you”.
It was my first day at work, and i was running late! Damn…
My door bell rang just in time to have her by the door
“What are you still doing in here? You getting late for work!
Pick up your stuff quickly, and come, am waiting in the car”
I always had her by my side, in ups and downs, through thick n thin
Its been a wonderful life, with such a friend by my side.
I look back at the past, with smile on my face n tear in my eye.
how much I miss her today n every single day with
only memories in my mind…
I may not see her everyday today, we don’t even talk often…
I pray for her to be happy always and i know she does it too…
Life can get easy n can get tougher.
But as we always know and believe
We are Friends Forever …. !!!!

When Am Gone ….

 
I may not say but am hurt,
for all that you have said n done
to humiliate my love!
 
Am not sorry that i "loved" you
but now you sure do
make me feel sorry
that i loved "you"
 
I dont know what love meant to you?
Love to me meant ….
the whole world — to me,
it meant YOU!!
 
You slammed the phone down
When i called you last
I still tried calling
till the hundredth time …
 
You walked away like a stanger
when we met at the mall
you turned your back to me
and were long gone even
before i could say goodbye…
 
Am never gonna phone you,
Am never gonna meet you,
Am not gonna waste my life
crying for you …
 
I know you will remember me
when we wont be together …
And am sure you gonna miss me
When am gone forever ….!!!
 
– YOGiNi 🙂

Chhoone ko abhi Aasman kaee baaki hai….

 
 
 
Tanha main akela, chal pada hoon yahan,
Durr hai manjil, aur raasta hai mushkil,
Phir bhi ai dil tu na ghabrana,
Jeetenge hum hai poora yakin,
Na saathi hai na koi sahara,
Par isi rehgujar se tujhe hai chalna,
 
Mushkil hain raahein, to kya gham hai?
Tanha hai safar, to kya gham hai?
Manjil hai durr, to kya gham hai?
Sathi na koi, toh kya gham hai?
Haunsale hai buland yeh kya kam hai?
 
Thak jaaye jo chalte-chlate tu
Gardan uthake uss badal ko dekh
Aankhen uthakar uss suraj ko dekh
Baahein failaker uss hawa ko chhoo le
Saanson me phir bhar le usse,
 
Nayi ummeedein, naya haunsla lekar ke
Phir chal pad apni manjil pe tu
Haar na maane jo kabhi, woh hum hai!
Rukna na jaane kabhi, woh hum hai!
 
Inn rahon me paana bahut kuch hai kyunki….
Chhoone ko abhi aasman kaee baki hai……!!!
 
-YOGiNi 🙂